Real Talk

Wellness expert Sophie Jaffe on using MDMA to deepen connection, overcoming infidelity, & why mental health is imperative to being a good parent

Wellness expert Sophie Jaffe opens up about her marriage, taking MDMA as relationship therapy and the tried and true tricks she uses to get her kids to eat clean.

Discovering your husband’s secret sex addiction and Ashley Madison account when you’re newly married and pregnant with your first child together isn’t the type of thing most couples typically go public about. But, then again, neither is your own one night stand, two kids, tons of therapy and several years deep into your marriage. This rawness and complete and utter openness to speak her truth and share her story (the good, the bad and, most importantly, the ugly) without shame or fear of judgment ALL for the sake of helping others is what makes this week’s MILF Sophie Jaffe a serious force to be reckoned with. And yes, she’s still happily married today! We sat down with the wellness expert, influencer and founder of our favorite superfood brand, Philosophie, to discuss taking MDMA as relationship therapy and the tried and true tricks she uses to get her three kids to eat clean (please, tell us your ways!). Read on for a healthy dose of realness.

Q: You’ve made quite the name for yourself in the health and wellness world! What initially led you down this path, and was there a specific moment when you knew you wanted (or simply needed!) to launch your own product line?

A: I gravitated towards psychology and received my B.A. in the field—I really see it as something that helped me forge a path to inner strength and wellness. Then, after college, I began working at an organic raw juice bar down the block from my house and eventually became the manager of the store. I was so excited to help change the eating habits of others and was also able to change my own habits and find a path to curing some of my own discomfort that I faced with dairy, meat and other foods that weren’t working for me at the time. I became a certified raw vegan chef and my passion for healthy eating led me to create Philosophie.

Philosophie began with me just wishing that I could have an amazing blend of superfoods and proteins together in one convenient jar. I didn’t want to run out of camu camu or another specific ingredient and then feel like my smoothie wasn’t complete. I traveled all over LA looking for high quality, fair-trade, organic superfoods and then began packing them together into mason jars and little bags. One day, while on vacation (I was in the sea in Israel with my hubby), Adi turned to me and said, “You should really grow what you’re doing and share it with more people, make it a company.” And that’s when it began to grow into what it is today.

Q: As a mama, how do you talk about food in your home? Any hacks for getting kids to eat clean?

A: I’ve passed on healthy eating habits and wellness practices to my kids by teaching them the value of food and the importance of their health. Instead of creating a “healthy diet” based on limitations and rules, I show them how to eat, move and breathe from a place of love: love for themselves, their communities and their larger world.

The key is offering them a plate of colorful, wholesome food and allowing them to completely pick which foods they want. I always watch closely to see what their bodies naturally gravitate towards. For example, I’ve noticed that my son Kai eats more like me and thrives on plant-based food, whereas Leo needs more eggs and heartier foods and Noa will try everything! It’s essential to understand that we are all unique and we each have different metabolisms, caloric needs, digestive systems and blood types. I also love taking my boys to farmers markets and fruit farms so they can see for themselves where their meals come from and cultivate a healthy relationship with their food.

Q: You recently had a little girl after two boys, congrats! How has your daughter’s birth shifted the energy and balance in your household?

A: OMG. There is so much more gentle, sweet energy in our home. I manifested a baby girl partly because I knew it was the missing piece to our little family. Our little girl already brings in so much more balanced, yen energy into our home. She’s pure magic.

Q: With three kiddos, how do you find the time for self-care and what’s your go-to?

A: I embrace every moment as it comes. In ultimate times of stress, I stop everything and slow down. It’s the days when I’m really thrown off and out of whack that I make it a point to check in with myself and, more importantly, my body. What do I need at that moment to feel satisfied? Your body knows what it craves, and it’s important that we listen to it. As far as beauty, I like to keep my routine simple and limit it to just what I need to keep me fresh on my day-to-day. I’m constantly on the go so I have to have products that I can easily carry with me to stay fresh, glowy and beautiful. I always bring a small bottle of Chrysalis Water wherever I go because it does so many amazing things for my skin and hair. I never go anywhere without it.

Q: Best (or worst!) parenting advice you’ve received?

A: When I was pregnant with Noa I posted about a new glider I got and how excited I was to use it with her. I experienced SO much mom shame from this about how gliders are “unsafe”. Point is, people need to be careful about the advice they share. The best advice I’ve ever been given is to trust my mama intuition, as it knows what is best for the baby.

Q: Best business advice?

A: The best advice I’ve been told is that it’s important to know what else is happening in your market and to stay on top of trends, but more importantly, to know when to shut out what everyone else is doing and stay aligned with what you value.

Q: Any epic #momfail moments that stand out?

A: Wow, so many. I brought Noa to a New York work trip when she was only two months old. Not only was it just me and Noa, but we had just gotten back from Israel three days prior. I was sleep deprived, alone and Noa was just as miserable. We barely slept and I couldn’t give her as much love and attention as I wanted because I was also working. It was tough, but we managed!

Q: You’re pretty much an open book on social media. As an influencer with a huge following, we’re sure this invites a lot of criticism. So how do you handle the haters, mom shamers and general negativity?

A: We live in a society that’s overpowered by technology, and yes, while I’m so glad social media was brought into my life to really bring Philosophie into the success it is today, there have definitely been drawbacks. Every day we’re comparing ourselves to others and trying to prove to this space that we’re the best, living perfect lives and doing everything correctly. Humans are easily threatened, and social media creates a platform for bullying without any consequences. Over time and with the help of a lot of meditation and self-love rituals, I’ve learned to let negative comments wash over me. Even now, I look at those comments right in the face and say, “THANK YOU”. Thank you for showing me that I’m living fully for myself and showing up completely.

Q: Speaking of connecting, in a recent Philosophie blog post on moderation over sobriety, you mention how you use MDMA to deepen the connection between you and your husband. Can you tell us more? Specifically how it’s benefited your relationship and helped strengthen your bond?

A: Before we even used it the first time together we talked about it for about a year with a therapist. We did a lot of work together, including working through the fear and discomfort we had. The only way we used it was in a moderate, safe way, and we made sure everything was handled and we had the time and space to drop into the moment together. This meant our kids were well cared for, we had no other family or work obligations and our time was cleared so we could really be present together. We set intentions beforehand and allowed ourselves to release all inhibition, fears and become present to the relationship. It also allowed us to release a LOT of pain, anger and past trauma. I showed up as the best version of myself during this time together and carried it into our day-to-day lives. Since we’ve done so much healing we now use it as normal maintenance to drop into a weekend or evening together always with intention. We use it around 3-4 times a year and always as a sacred ritual to drop the BS and show up for each other in a more intimate way.

Q: On a lighter note, favorite date night spot?

A: The Henry

Q: Favorite local restaurant?

A: Cafe Gratitude

Q: Favorite workout in LA?

A: A hike with friends and family at Runyon or a delicious hot yoga flow at Hot8 Yoga (love that they sell Philosophie products at all locations!).

Q: Favorite local kid’s activity?

A: Beach days, playing in the neighborhood with the other neighborhood kids and local museums.

Q: Fave beauty products?

A: I keep my beauty routine very simple and use brands that are made from clean, organic ingredients. Brands like Osea Malibu, True Botanicals, and especially Chrysalis Bath Soak, Chrysalis Healing Oils + Chrysalis Water!

Q: Fave kid’s brands?

A: We’re fortunate enough to be able to give a lot to our kiddos. We love BING KIDS clothing, Woom Bikes and so much more!

Q: Care to share a yummy, kid-friendly superfood recipe (something your kids are currently loving!)?

A: Superfood Power Pancakes. You can host brunch at home with these simple-to-make, protein-packed pancakes + waffles! They have an oh-so-yummy flavor fusion of cinnamon and vanilla, not to mention a burst of vitamins + minerals from the Berry Bliss + Berry Bee Honey.

Gather This (Serves 2-3):

1 ¼ cup gluten-free flour
¼ cup coconut flour
1 ½ cups dairy free milk
1 egg
2 egg whites
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 tablespoon Philosophie Berry Bliss Superfood + Protein Blend
1 tablespoon Philosophie Berry Bee Honey
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
a pinch of Himalayan pink salt

Do This:

1. In a separate bowl, whisk the egg whites until they become fluffy. Set aside.

2. Combine your flours, salt, powders and spices in a bowl. Then mix in the wet ingredients and stir until everything is fully incorporated.

3. Gently fold the whipped egg whites into your batter.

4. Warm a frying pan or skillet over medium-high heat. Spray with a coconut oil spray (or wipe with a small amount of coconut oil) and pour small amounts of your batter, keeping in mind the sizes and shapes of pancakes you’d like.

5. When small bubbles start to form, flip your pancakes (about 2-3 minutes). Let them cook on the other side for another minute or until they are golden brown.

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